1. |
Dear Diary
03:16
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(That it's not that Tognotti's being an evil little manipulator... it's far worse than that)
You don't know a thing about me, do you?
I won't risk a first impression
The contents herein are underlined by someone
The signature is messy but it makes a deep depression
Turn through the pages
As fast as the notebook can handle
Is she smart for her age
Or is she an obtuse angle?
If you see any similarities
Don't hesitate to tell me why
This is just a first draft, I'm still working out the kinks
And by the time I'm done you will hardly recognize her
Make her pretend
That she wants you to know how she feels
And in the end
All of her pain I can steal
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2. |
Rulli
02:16
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Mom works in a big house
Long stairs leading up
I can't climb them on my own
Who-o-o-o-o-oa
Dad stays at home a lot
He's a poet and he knows it
And I'm sure we've got a shot
Who-o-o-o-o-oa
Larkspur
Or whatever it's called
Seems like a pretty nice place
But do people live here?
There are all these big tall trees
And call me crazy
But I don't think I could live in a tree
For very long
I hop in his Saturn, like the car
Not like Venus
And we cross into the trees
Who-o-o-o-o-oa
And we meet at Rulli's
I get a pastry or two
And I smile for both of you
I get a bottle of the fizzy drink
That tastes like orange
Not like Sunkist
But the orange taste like adults would like
And I feel so free
There's no way to see through me
And I'm even smiling
When Mom finally leaves
I can't climb those stairs on my own
On my own
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3. |
We Rob Banks
02:03
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Stories of your house burning down
And the man who wouldn't leave the kitchen even as your eyes would close
Who knows which way all these dirt roads
Twist and turn and go go go
Unincorporated town barking in the darkness
Helicopters carrying dead men to their graves
And there's no way to save a town built on this rock
We should be running scared but our shoelaces are locked
Make your move, darling
Feel the pressure throbbing deep within my skull
And never let the camera tell you how to act
Let's both burn together until Dogtown hears our pulse
Now let's get moving
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4. |
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So no I didn't realize my new phone had a speaker
For playing music as loud as I want
My nightmare is that one of these days, I will make a simple mistake
And the sound in my headphones will radiate around the room
I got a lot of problems
Yes of course I'll work it out, can't be that hard to cut Shakespeare down
If I can't do it, then what am I good for?
So I take an hour or two, find the best way to impress you
Press the putty down a bit, and the image peels with it
I got a lot of problems
There might just be something wrong with me
But luckily, I will show you everything I can pretend to be
I got a lot of problems
The nice thing about lying to others and yourself
Is that eventually you can stop sweating the details
And you act so indignant every time they find
A single little piece of you poking out from behind
I got a lot of problems
But isn't it endearing?
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5. |
Cryptocurrency
02:37
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I bought enough TV dinners
That I can get one free
I'll get more than that with the copy machine
At the library
Drinking O'Doul's every single night
That isn't a sin
I'm gonna buy a few thousand packs of Camels
And never breathe in
I found a loophole
I'm never gonna tell you how
I found a loophole
One of these days I'm gonna get high
And watch Last Year At Marienbad
In between the frame I will find the path
To the one true god
I will cash fake checks and store the money
In a safety deposit box
I will cross-reference all my contacts
And wait by the docks
I found a loophole
I'm never gonna tell you how
I found a loophole
I don't need any thanks
I am far, far too humble
I've got a plan to get us out of this jam
Five bucks a ticket to the robot rumble
Whenever the zombies decide to attack
I'll be outside with a shotgun
I have detailed city planning maps
All you'll have to do is run
I get kind of moody by twilight
No matter the place
And I know just how to fix it, he says
With a straight face
I found a loophole
I'm never gonna tell you why
I find these loopholes
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6. |
Dark Chocolate Orange
03:11
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Colonial
Liquor store
Chewy gumdrops at the counter
Bell rings when you walk in the door
Foreign aisle
Fancy place
The boxes of cherries
Cream in the middle, syrup on my face
And brace for impact
Fridge is full
Empty treats
Every bite I get bigger
Tearing holes in the seats
Chocolate orange
Hard and cold
Slam it on the counter
Treat it like gold
And fold up the bounce house
When I'm done
Remembering
I buy another box
I eat so many it stings
Old habits
Never change
But I keep getting older
Isn't that strange?
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7. |
Yreka Blues
03:04
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Wind nearly yanks me out of the car
I don't know if the wind is why
Our chains broke this far into our trip
But there's nowhere to bury the money so let's split
And you haven't faced true terror until you've seen the Mexican restaurant in Yreka
Tow truck driver, there within the hour
And his door is warped from the wind
God grant me the power to stay hopeful
Good thing this motel isn't all full, but it's awful
And you haven't faced true terror until you've seen the Mexican restaurant in Yreka
We were more than halfway to Portland
Thirty miles left until Oregon
I hear you don't have to pump your own gas there
But my final gasp will be of Yreka's air
One street to travel. cold as fuck
Halfway down the block
Imagine our luck as we stared
Right back at Lalo's glare
And you haven't faced true terror until you've seen the Mexican restaurant in Yreka, California
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8. |
Letter To Middle School
03:36
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I hope upon hope that you're happy
And I'm sure that doesn't mean much to you
But when I think about those times, I get sappy
And I'm so damned glad you're doing what you wanted to do
If I saw you walking down the street
I probably wouldn't say hi
But don't mistake my reluctance for some lingering repugnance
I never knew what to say to you, and I never knew how to try
So I fly
Away
Maybe you don't think much of me
And frankly I don't think much of you
But whenever I do there's a slight sharp chill
That pierces my spine, up and through
An old Spanish mission with swallows nesting near
With painful precision it can suck out a tear
And the fear we keep that when we grow old
We'll have nothing left but the stories we've told
To each other
What a bother
My mind is a vacuum
And my heart is a sponge
And when your face pops up in one
They both take a plunge
I can try to face the fact
That my memory won't last
But I'm too busy digging
This hole in the past
The audience fills into their seats
The tickets sold out on the first day
And the movie I show is all scattered and jumbled
But I hear that art films have big cachet
My visuals are lacking but my sound is coming through
This song is for you and the version of you that you were
When we parted ways
And if I forget all you have to do is say
Who you are
Now that I'm gone
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9. |
Hedgehog's Dilemma
02:21
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I have my clearly defined
Walls of protection
And they shrink every hour
I spend in this procession
They are herding us like cattle
They are grooming us to be
Every single goddamned thing
That doesn't work for me
So I fall
And I want you to fall with me
Surely this uprising will
Set me free
And I know you never meant
To hurt me
But the worst pain comes from people who are
Ready to desert me
The light shines through the window
On the pink walls inside
And it makes a sickly glow
Like I crawled in here and died
I'll slink out to a grassy place
My eyes fixed on a tiny mushroom
I'll be gone in fifteen If I say
I vomited in the bathroom
So I lie
And I want you to lie with me
Surely this escape
Will set me free
And I know you never meant
To hurt me
But the worst pain comes from people who are
Ready to desert me
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10. |
True Or False Memory
03:13
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I'm sitting on your bed
The color of your bedsheets lost in a tomb
I'm looking out the window
Was there even a window in your room?
Or maybe I was in the kitchen
Or maybe the place where other people
Could keep switching the TV
On and off
I listen to you speak
Your hushed tones signaling a cliff
I read the words you throw at me
Every last glyph
Or maybe I couldn't hear you
Or maybe the way I tried to lie to myself
Couldn't make him
Stay
(Ba da ba da ba da ba da ba da...)
My finger is a Q-tip
I sit perfectly still, the pattern on the chairs
Green and loud
I know it was raining outside
But I can't remember a single cloud
Or maybe it was just a dream
Or maybe my eyes were wide open
But you still couldn't stop me from falling
Fast asleep
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11. |
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Longest flight of my life
Longest elevator ride
New stuffy bed to keep me
Restless all night
Out the window I just stare
Raindrops tearing through the air
You explain how unfair it is
That I'd see her like this
Halfway out onto the dike
My feet tell me I shouldn't like
The travel
But dammit
The grey clouds approach
A burgeoning storm
And the hail rains down
And unlike before
You can see right through me
So you made a new life
So you took yourself out of the picture
And I don't really mind
But if you're gonna do that then don't say you're coming back
No one cares when you make him
Pick around his dishes
I'll refer you to the glossary
Cycles comma vicious
I break out one night
Take the bus through the dark
This hotel room is tiny
But at least it's a start
By the time we leave
I am bleeding on the inside
But I know it doesn't count unless
I'm bleeding on the outside
And I flash back to Larkspur
And I don't know what that means
And I don't think I should know
And I don't think I could live in a tree
For very long
So you made a new life
So you took yourself out of the picture
And I don't really mind
But if you're gonna do that
Yeah if you're gonna do that
Then don't pretend you're coming back
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12. |
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A chemical reaction
The matter underneath my skin
Swarms its way to that shoulder
All the nerve endings flooding in
So when your head touches down
I feel the warmth and it makes me shout
This is all I have ever wanted
Then you take a deep breath, and then I black out
I know it's me and when I look down
The fear that I can't help still lurks
I do not recognize this body
And that's the only way this works
You ask me a question
I have all the answers
You let your heart beat next to mine
We are never still, we are dancers
I take a walk upstairs
See the other one sleeping in his bed
It's scary, silly things are scary
I'd rather be me, I'd rather be dead
I know it's me and when I look down
The fear that I can't help still lurks
I do not recognize this body
And that's the only way this works
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Kearney Vancouver, British Columbia
my name is evan, my band is Kearney, i am presently the sole member of the band but i am accepting online applications
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