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This Is A Funny Song

by Kearney

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1.
We bought a black couch Because you said The white couch would stain too Easily But the black couch that rattles Inside my head Has precise coordinates of White debris There is no way out No way in No colors left You win Hold my head under the wa-a-aves Open your veins on my gra-a-ve They tell us we need to beha-a-ave But darling, that's just not our way You told me that hole behind The bathroom door Came highly recommended By your contacts But the ooze that keeps dripping From its single gaping pore Is burning through the floor And no I won't relax One last chance to tap out If you care how I feel I just wanna heal But you always turn heel Slap me around if you mu-u-ust I'm used to your cold winter gu-u-ust If I cared then you would be ju-u-ust A person-shaped pile of dust The moon is so bright Every single night Why should we fight It doesn't seem right You are who Who are you On our way to Some seclu- -ded rendezvous Drinking cocktails For two
2.
3.
Put down your phone as I speak to All the weakness that befell you Recall a time when men were men And I'd say the rest, but I bet you'd have me Lynched in the public square, for merely Sharing my opinion and I Can't abide this state of mind Where no one feels like they need to die Or try to change themselves To be happy Or lie about themselves To be happy Your values upheld Will send us straight to hell And your music is loud And your movies can't tell A coherent story Without guns and sex and mayhem And our generation Knew how to treat women You all think you know what's funny Well, we invented irony So maybe let us tell our jokes without Offending your sensitivities You all went soft and it makes me sick You're all unemployed and I wonder why A tight fifteen on chicks with dicks And suddenly, I'm the bad guy Well I try No I don't wonder why Your skin is just so thin There's no way for us to win Unless we give in To the ultimate sin The fault with our economy It's pretty plain to see Since America was founded Back in 1993 I look around at all my peers And I wish I were born before my time The music I like you all laugh at The music you like doesn't even rhyme And all the girls at school don't care Because they're busy fixing their hair I lost the culture war, scorned Before I was even born And it's why I Don't give a shit Because you all Still don't get it I yearn for the days before Civility took to the sea My dad says it was better And he wouldn't lie to me It sounds like Nirvana The myth, not the band Have you heard of The Pixies? Or are you one of them?
4.
Weird Al 01:18
5.
I build up all my roofs for you I hide both our faces from clear view I do what I do, to protect you My knight in shining armor, coming through And little do you know it's taking Every part of me Not to breach you And let all that blood run free You told me you were searching for The beast in the dark And you said that I'd be safe as long as I held onto your arm My reflection may appear Clearer in your dream But all must fear I am not who I seem I raised the drawbridge here for you I did what I had to, to get you through I ran down the halls and the torches went out I couldn't wait to hear you shout And I tell you that I'm hungry And you suggest that I Make you Something to eat My self-restraint restrains I'm a real go-getter You just liked how low this dress was cut And for that you'll taste better My reflection may appear Clearer in your dream But all must fear I am not who I seem
6.
7.
Brooklyn bound Five o' clock We won't make it home by midnight Especially if we let ourselves talk The scene is set Everybody's dying But the lights above our heads Keep blinking, not shining And so we were each other's keeper Takashi Miike Triple Feature Popcorn fills Stomachs with no mercy 130 minutes per picture Counterculture adversity Your face against the dark Like a layer of a painting The brightest red reflects On all the weakest fainting And so we were each other's keeper Takashi Miike Triple Feature And we know we'll make it out of here Dead or alive Visitors keep inquiring When we'll arrive The auditions for the roles we play Go on and on without us While the man with the joker smile Slithers about us The lights come up We talk all night For once our future's looking A little bright Gone by sunrise Fading into nightmares All the other scum Slinking back to their lairs And so we were each other's keeper Takashi Miike Triple Feature
8.
Alienation 00:59
9.
Imagine the both of us Alone inside this room Mirrors on both sides All the lens flare and the bloom Keep us apart And give us reasons to stay put They're cutting off my hand And they're sawing off your foot You keep talking in circles That drift around the curves It's so damn hard to track But it's just what I deserve If their love is Godzilla Then baby ours is Gamera If you're gonna cry then maybe Do it towards the camera Two more dead crewmen on our sinking ship The strings swell so loudly we'd better flip the script Abandon all hope ye who enters here And turn off your flash, or you'll spoil the fear All the people on the shore Trying their best to eat Heads down on their plates Only hearing our defeat And the skull that peers From up above the cave A dip into the dark No one left to save Fifteen thousand gold dubloons Hugging us tight A few thousand more Reasons to fight They ask us if we want our picture Picked from the picture tree Little do they know It's the pirate's life for we Two more dead crewmen on our sinking ship The strings swell so loudly we'd better flip the script Abandon all hope ye who enters here And turn off your flash, or you'll spoil the fear
10.
Untitled 00:14
11.
Unexpected consequences Of new postage stamps and rolodexes You can't save yourself Backroom brawls by the part of your neck Where it meets your head, reflect On all the time for deep breaths No one told me I was wrong Why did no one tell me I was wrong? All the people in this city Feel like shadows I am never leaving this bed No no no no no no no no no Your gravestone sits on your old front lawn You're too tired to talk, and too tired to yawn This is your problem Blink real fast, tell yourself it's true This hotel room feels more like home than you ever do And there's no garbage disposal No one told me I was wrong Why did no one tell me I was wrong? All the people in this city Feel like shadows I am never leaving this bed No no no no no no no no no The bathroom mirror's bleeding The refrigerator's leaking The whole place is blinking twelve The nights are long and the days are longer You think by next month you'll feel stronger Here's a toast to you No one told me I was wrong Why did no one tell me I was wrong? All the people in this city Feel like shadows I am never leaving this bed No no no no no no no no no
12.
Mic Check 00:25
13.
We are smarter than we seem And the night may make us cold But the night helps us dream Hope is what's in your heart The rest just lives before The perfect music starts You look away from me And you sigh, and it stings But I don't care We don't need rhymes to keep us sane We'll just wait until the train leaves the platform Did you see which way? La da da da da da Da da da da da da Da da da da da da daa
14.
15.
Who are you? Nobody seems to know And isn't it just That you'd steal the show? I'm alone and you're alone So we're alone together If there's a breeze behind the curtain Nobody can save her When we walk Late at night I can feel all the branches Reading our rights Far too far to see Much too hard to try Too few many ways To say goodbye Hold my hand Embrace me tight Whatever we're called Blocks out all light We'll get up tomorrow Yes oh yes we will All of our sorrow Can finally spill They might think we're lazy But we know better The sun out there is crazy And our skin keeps getting redder Most of all, most of all She won't understand Best to shut her out From all our plans The path we're headed down Is narrow and endless There's room for two But there's no room for your conscience Hold my hand Embrace me tight Whatever we're called Blocks out all light
16.
17.
You don't talk to me anymore You don't love me like you used to You don't even care enough to keep up Your storied streak of impeccable voodoo You do to me What I always abstain And I'd stop but I can't stop Protecting your wind from every open flame I'm not sure anybody knows Which way out this exit goes And I'm not the kind of girl Who'd tell you you're wrong in a song You talk about your music every night I can only assume you think that's alright If you need me I'll be here out of focus While you work that hocus pocus Locusts always in my mouth Rattle and hum and twist and shout And don't let the door hit you on the way out Here is my handle and here is my spout I'm not sure anybody knows Which way out this exit goes And I'm not the kind of girl Who'd tell you you're wrong in a song And I'm not sure you know I'm awake Listening to you every night And I'm not sure you know how I break Every time I lie and say you're right And I don't know how much I can take But I do know one thing you'd call trite That I'm not the kind of girl Who'd tell you you're wrong in a song
18.
No Encores 00:37
19.
So I guess you all think I'm a joke And I don't have a ton of ammo in my gun To prove that I'm not one Make your mark and break Because the bruise heals quickly But the blood underneath stays hot and sticky I wake up every morning I don't want to wake up every morning Or at least not most of them I am so goddamned ugly, both inside and out No one will ever love me So just this once be honest with me What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? (let it ring out) Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Every time I lie I just keep getting better It's the reason that I'm standing here More chronic than ever If I play my guitar like a mouth I'm feeding Will you ever catch on to The four chords I'm repeating? All I want is for you not to hate me Do you hate me? Will that break me? Why should you like me? I don't like me I can't stand me So why should you have to Why am I still singing when I've got nothing to sing about? Another lie on the pile So toward the darkness I still shout What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? (let it ring out) Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha

about

This Is A Funny Song was recorded live in front of an eager crowd of thousands, at Club 33 in Delilah, CA.

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released May 17, 2015

All sound effects courtesy of www.freesfx.co.uk

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about

Kearney Vancouver, British Columbia

my name is evan, my band is Kearney, i am presently the sole member of the band but i am accepting online applications

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