We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

I Have Slept In This House For 153 Days And I Still Haven't Gotten My Great Uncle's Fortune

by Kearney

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
Haunters 02:49
it takes 'til 6 PM every single night for the cracks in the walls to start singing brightly ringing through the halls and making me remember how easy everything felt last December when you came into my life and I tried but it shook me it took me a month or two to realize that the cracks that I track and I lack the capability of covering are smothering me while I sleep and I don't think you deserve it and you don't think I deserve it we can't both be right I find my way I put the pen to the page and I wait and the silence is coursing through my veins I take a double shot neat but it doesn't dull the pain am I insane or am I just scared? is it better out there? is it better out there? i try not to cry i look you right in the eye and I blink and I wait for you to tell me why you lied when you promised you'd be here right by my side am I alive or am I just scared? is it better out there? is it better out there?
2.
Dust Jacket 02:09
dear sir, would you kindly step out of my kitchen i have been speaking for longer than you've listened and i know i'm all alone so please don't touch that phone CRT glow shining true i can see right through you notice the stain on the wall that you left when you left me my blood never dries not when you cut so deftly and by the way you left all of your videotapes around the room just so i can't escape and i know i'm all alone so please don't touch that phone CRT glow shining true i can see right through you and i know this is our home but please leave me alone CRT glow shining true i can see right through you
3.
I haven't left this house since you last came by and I can't remember the way to I-5 but don't let that stop you from driving real fast keep on picking at my scab it will help this moment last out in the forest you wait for the redwoods to grow I study your face in case the cops wanna know I haven't seen you since you walked away neither of us knew neither one could stay but that doesn't matter not anymore keep your arm around my shoulder keep the pedal to the floor you see the candles glowing soft beneath the bark I keep them in this place in case it gets dark your body slumps up against the tree you whisper to me, secretly you open my eyes, but I still can't see this seems to be the only way free I haven't been so good since you last came by I'd forgotten what it felt like to really cry but please don't think I'm sad in the least I've been starving since you left and I'm ready for the feast your breast is warm, your shirt streaked with my makeup we fall backwards into space in case I wake up
4.
went to the gas station tried to look busy bought a six pack of steel reserve and I walked home a little dizzy spent fifteen minutes sitting on the bench watching some kid fly a kite through the noise your voice stuck out in my mind i don't feel alright and i'll never be the same again so i might as well spend what i can spend when i crossed the threshold i turned let the bag fall on the counter pulled out the meat, warmer than it should've been heard your voice a little louder i saw the blood as it escaped from below and bubbled up above the dog licked everything up and when i looked in his eyes i saw pure love i'll never see those eyes again so i might as well spend what i can spend
5.
got a self help book read it every night tore out pages one by one until the weight felt right you can stab me in the gut you can break all of my bones but you cannot tell the king to abandon his throne told the doctors i'd be fine counted days on my skin couldn't even smile when i found out how i'd win you can conjure every demon you can stay in here for good but you cannot cut this tree it is not made of wood you can tell me i'll be fine you can leave me here to think but if you lead me to poison don't tell me not to drink (you will wake up in the morning and when you do you will be happy for you will know that every exposed nerve has wriggled its way below your protective shell and you will wake up in the morning and you will forget how it felt and you will sleep and you will wake up)
6.
LEVEL-9 02:41
I have killed every monster from here to the hills I have written every scroll I've run out of quills I have found the tree of life withered by inaction I say my final prayer and I brace for the reaction my sword shines as it grows and I can feel you coming home breaking out from your chains restarting what remains it took me years getting here but now that I'm here don't fear we're gonna be okay just do exactly as I say I have solved every riddle the jester jotted down I deposed our despotic king and now I wear his crown I have found the elder's crystal as dark as its tomb I press my palm against it as my eyes dart around the room my sword shines as it glows and I can feel you coming home breaking out from your chains restarting what remains it took me years getting here but now that I'm here don't fear we're gonna be okay just do exactly as I say
7.
fell down, blacked out waiting for you outside the high school that you never went to it looked bad, it felt bad i was running out of gin but it was columbus day so the spirit led me in I remember these halls I remember the wall where i wrote your name I remember the bathroom where I cried wishing I wouldn't be the same I remember the times when I'd close my eyes and I'd let the skin break I remember how I spoke to you under my breath and how it never felt fake and I won't be alone I'll never be alone punched out the window bled on the floor kept on moving left a handprint on the door spit up brown stuff in the sink took a seat while the sirens blared then i passed out in my drink I remember your face all over this place in mesmerizing collage I remember the taste of you on my lips and I swallow the mirage then I remember it's fake, one big mistake and the cuffs are tight and cold I remember the way you'd grip my wrist and I'd beg you to keep hold I'll never be alone you can't leave me alone
8.
Attempt 04:15
the water's warm as i ease my body down I remember what you told me and the termite swarm just beneath my skin they are digging they begging to be free the door's locked not like anybody would've tried to open it anyway and I'm shocked that in 35 years I'd never figured this could be a way to make a break armies flowing up and down the fire escape the night's young and the neon signs on main street are all fizzing out and I've come just to watch them burn, and turn away any last doubt sight line shifts my eyes are doing something I cannot recognize and I lift up to the corner, warn her as she takes to the sky I spy with my eye someone I hope finds her way from way up high now I'm stuck I am trapped and I am hungry and I shout at you 'til it hurts just my luck my heart beats a little fast as I crash as I count every spurt so I hope for the first time in a while, I'm stronger than I ever thought I'd be in my throat the last of you is bubbling, troubling how you're still with me I see you bleed and you smile as you say exactly what I need
9.
Dwell 03:42
september 1979 in a hospital in California 14 miles from the state line I felt the ground shake as you entered the delivery room so bright outside and so d ark for me but I knew that I'd be there soon to greet you as it so happens I am happy to trace the steps a coloring book filled up with rooms I've never left I sniff the crayon, sweet and inscrutable and I wonder how something this crude could be something so beautiful sophomore year senior mentorship program I still remember the schedule I could draw you a floor plan and we were fast friends and the rest happened slowly I wouldn't change a thing but you know me it wasn't love at first sight, because that doesn't exist you'd hate me for thinking so, and even if I did one angle's never enough, no need to take a chance everything I love about you could not fit in a single glance you and I we always both agreed dying young would never be worth it not even for the poetry so I repeat that again and again I really do my best it helps for a while, until it doesn't hugging your ashes close to my chest if I could be reborn in another glorious form an ageless speck of light, tiny and warm I would reject the offer, I would cling to my memory because the purest cosmic conception will never be as lucky as me
10.
there are things you're gonna wanna do that might seem hard to you there are things you're gonna need to do that are much harder and there's no way to make it easier there's no way to make it light there's only you and the darkness all around and there's nothing left to do but fight, fight, fight get a boyfriend get a job or stay locked up in your room and sob do whatever you have to do and don't let him tell you that isn't true there's a note on the front door there's a warning in the sky there's a flare gun with opposable thumbs shooting itself at your eyes you might wanna shred the note you might wanna close the blinds but you must stay, you must study what you wrote until every last word rhymes, rhymes, rhymes start a family start your career or move anywhere else but here do whatever you have to do and don't let him tell you that isn't true and if you get the strength to take a step outside cling to that feeling, never let it go carry it with pride there are things that will scare you no matter the place there are things that will haunt you that cannot be erased so maybe you're broken but that doesn't make you weak get up out of bed, take a walk around and listen to this house creak, creak, creak go out drinking get your car towed sit back and watch that shithole explode do whatever you have to do and don't let him tell you that isn't true do whatever you need to do and don't let me tell you that isn't true

about

this is a ghost story

CW: self-harm, excessive loneliness

credits

released August 23, 2016

words and music by kearney

sound effects from the video game earthbound

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Kearney Vancouver, British Columbia

my name is evan, my band is Kearney, i am presently the sole member of the band but i am accepting online applications

contact / help

Contact Kearney

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Kearney, you may also like: